My personal writing process.

 The following is an essay I handed in for one my classes.  I had so much fun writing it that I decided to post it as a blog post since I've been rather lacking lately.

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For me, the writing process is 80% procrastination, 15% perspiration, and 5% inspiration. Some works deviate slightly from this formula, but they all tend to fall within a marginal degree of separation from these percentages. To understand this writing process is to understand each individual stage within the work, therefore elaboration is required to promote a thorough and discerning look into the context of the process.

To begin, procrastination has to take place. This could be considered by many to be the largest and most tedious step within the writing process. To spend time doing other activities in substitution of your primary objective is an exhaustive step and must be dealt with on a day to day basis. Procrastination is also completely dependent upon the predetermined date of completion concerning a piece of writing. To determine when the final stages of the procrastination phase are over, one must divide the number of hours in the remaining time by the number of pages required for a work. If the number is is lesser than or equal to two, then you are ready to move out of the phase of procrastination and into the phase of perspiration.

In the perspiration step, one must ascertain the requirements of the work. When all requirements are noted and deliberated on, then it is time to begin the piece itself. Beginning the paper starts with adjusting margins to assure that there are fewer needless words and phrases upon the page, which would only confuse and dismay your reader. Remember, in the perspiration phase, quality of word choice is much more important than quantity. To allude to everyday life, take the Stop sign for example. Very few words are actually spoken within the work, however, the impact of the statement is phenomenally high. It does not contain a thesis, nor does it warrant support, therefore the word 'Stop' is by itself, the most powerful word within the context of the piece. This brings up my second point: During the perspiration process, it is important as well to make your text large and your font consuming. By stretching the limits of the pixels your font contains, you stretch the meaning of the work into the stratosphere. Once again, one must apply a mathematical formula to determine when the final stages of the perspiration phases are coming to an end. If the final number of the previously mention formula is less than or equal to one, then it is time to move to the final step of the writing process: Inspiration.

Inspiration is the final stage in the three step writing process, and should be the primary area in which you focus on the writing itself. In the inspiration stage, all material, thought, source work, study, and deliberation must come together to form the introductory line of your paper. When the introductory line has been completed it becomes important to fill the essay with useless dribble that neither supports a thesis nor comes to a conclusion on anything, and should almost never have anything to do with the topic at hand. If you properly constructed the opening line, then the rest of the paper is line out for success. Turn in your newly finished work without checking for spelling or grammatical errors and never leave time for revision. Revision is only to be made when your work does not return with a satisfactory mark.

By following this suggested outline, you should find yourself breezing through college essays and thesis papers. Just remember the simple steps and anyone can be confident writers of collegiate level material: Procrastination, Perspiration, and Inspiration.